Free credit report.com should have had Totalitar or possibly Anal Cunt as their new spokesband. I'm sure a rousing rendition of So I Noticed You're Gay or You Look Adopted would have sent people flocking to the website.
I don't think its too much to ask that my coworker add an R to the end of his last name changing it from Grube to Gruber and allowing me to call him Hans.
I predict the movie Vampires Suck will be an Oscar winning movie with its subtle satire, well written jokes, and its timeless and completely not cashing in on a fad storytelling.
When are the handicapped going to realize we'll all like them alot more if they just give up the primo parking spots.
Always remember that you could be wearing a shirt that says I Heart Clubbing Baby Seals or be completely naked but if you show up to dinner wearing a monocle, top hat, and pocket watch, you'll be the classy toast of the party.
Why hasn't anyone had a tattoo on their ass of the classic punchline, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em."
I find that Windows commercial where the kid is sitting outside his dorm room watching TV and waiting for his roommate to be done plowing a chick to be quite funny. Rather than not be a total douchebag cock block who's complaining about how he doesn't get to watch a shitty television show, the pecker head should, oh I don't know, try meeting some girls so he can touch his first boob and not spend all day in front of his computer browsing 4chan.
Rage fact of the day: The people who come up with those contemptible Olive Garden commercials will make more money in one year than most of us will make in the next 8.
Me and Chris once watched the entire 21 minute episode of Everybody Loves Hypnotoad and loved every minute of it. Didn't hurt we were pretty tuned on Margaritas at the time.
When all these people post that stupid song lyric about pretending airplanes are shooting stars on Facebook, I wonder if they consider the grave ramifications of a plane instantly turning into pure plasma. Not only would everyone on the plane be instantly vaporized in a horrible fashion but having such close proximity to the thermonuclear fusion would probably destroy Earth within moments. So people who want planes to be stars for the mere purpose of wishing are really quite selfish since it means an end to life as we know it.
Once at my days in Catholic school we had a test that was one question, explain what Pentecost is. My buddy at the time wrote a rather poignant dissertation about how it was when Hitler killed all the Jews. He did not score well.
Vacation next week. I'll see what I can do about hammering out another post before then. Probably be a review of The Expendables.
No comments:
Post a Comment